Pinot Noir from everywhere but France

After a very interesting no-name PN on-board SAS long haul, I decided to really give this grape a go. So after sourcing a number of bottles at Systembolaget, this is the first tasting. Anticipation was: ONE btl showing something likeable. Expecting at least 3 undrinkables.

The best five wines I could find from five different non-French regions. Austria, South Africa, New Zealand, Argentina and California. And: AUSTRIA won with their absolute opposite to Arnold Schwartzenegger...

• 2010 Gerhard Markowitsch Pinot Noir 90 Points

  Austria, Niederösterreich, Carnuntum

  Non-blind. Had immediately after Mollydooker shake.
  Pitifully pale red color.
  Fruity nose laced with gunpowder oak and grassy, herbal notes on slate galore.
  Good tannins. My first, second and third thoughts were: "This wine is f**king good!!" Pleasant entry, evolving mid-palate, blooming end-palate, long finish. My words are too positive, so please add a table spoon of simplicity to this concoction!
  As this is an Austrian red doing a great job of Burgundy cosplay, I cannot help but to think a little bit of Arnold Schwartzenegger trying to make it in a Bergman movie. Result: Truly unique. This wine's QPR is breathtaking and it's a most pleasant wine.

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• 2009 Paul Cluver Pinot Noir 82 Points

  South Africa, Cape South Coast, Elgin

  Non-blind. Had immediately after Mollydooker shake.
  Pitifully pale red color.
  Big breasted barrel bikini notes, coffee-coffee-coffee and a full shovel of sulfurous aromas on the nose.
  Tannin: covers the mouth ok but little bleak. Light bodied with a complex taste spectra. Attack is coffee-sulphur, mid-palate is transformational or bland (depending on POV) and end-palate finally shows some complexity in red berreis and distribution of tannin. Finishes short.
  My words sound better than this wine is.

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• 2011 Saint Clair Family Estate Pinot Noir 88 Points

  New Zealand, South Island, Marlborough

  Non-blind. Had immediately after Mollydooker shake.
  Pitifully pale red color.
  Pure, red-berried nose of the tart, young, simplistic kind.
  Strinkingly pure in the mouth. A simple, light-bodied wine in the attack and throughout the mid-palate. But THEN, just before swallowing, superb acids start playing rock'n'roll. The low-level tannins hold a striking bitterness - like drinking orange juice after having just brushed your teeth. However, not so bad after you get used to it :-)
  Sounds worse than it is. This wine displays a 'sensitivity' what must be a treat for depressed/brittle people. Pinot noir is often like 'The Cure' manifest in wine. This one in particular.

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• 2010 Bodega Chacra Pinot Noir Barda 67 Points

  Argentina, Patagonia, Río Negro

  Non-blind. Had immediately after Mollydooker shake.
  Pitifully pale red color.
  Can't help thinking about Robert Gustafsson and his Jean-Pierre-BARDA-bög. And I can't agree with Markcic's amazingly consistent score because: *** THIS WINE SUCKS BIG TIME ***
  Bland-bland-bland and revolting. With only five glasses with non-Burgundy Pinot Noir on the table, I don't even want to touch this one a second time. I feel queasy merely entertaining the idea of another sip. I will ask someone to pour it out for me.
  *** bluaaaaargh ***

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• 2009 De Loach Pinot Noir Russian River Valley 77 Points

  USA, California, Sonoma County, Russian River Valley

  Non-blind. Had immediately after Mollydooker shake.
  Pitifully pale red color.
  Complex nose of red berries, dill and a hint of sulphur.
  Very small tannins. Entrance of red berries, ending in dill and a dark, oaky burn. Fine acids. The wine is held back, but not as in "restrained". It is held back as the singing of pigeons. There are also some strange elements on the palate.
  A difficult wine to like. I refused profusely when my right arm offered a second pour. It is the kind of wine only its wine maker can love...

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Two undrinkables but also two $14 wines scoring respectively 90p and 88p. PN characteristics are easy to understand. But the point in making red white wines is still a mystery to me. I'm now craving for a really PHAT, muscular, hairy Napa cab or Barossa Shiraz to balance off this evening escapades in to slender, brittle, depressing wines...