Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks.

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Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 4:06:14 PM

pjaines

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From: London
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This is your thread for crap christmas presents.

Here is my opening pitch.

I drive 5 hours north of London to the pancake flat agricultural wasteland of my youth to visit my parents. My christmas present is a bottle of NV Echo Falls "Red Wine".

http://www.echofallswine.co.uk/taste/california-red

Echo Falls? What is that? I hear you ask in the US.

Well, no doubt you guys have never heard of it because this is the crap that truckers from Nebraska refuse to drink. Instead they ship it to England and bottle it at £3.99 a bottle.

My only previous experience of this wine? See link below....

https://www.cellartracker.com/wine.asp?iWine=725280

Merry Christmas Mum. I love you too.

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 4:35:23 PM

musedir

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Great TN. Love the twist off cap, which of course makes getting to that red juice even easier than having to bother with some fancy wine openers. Or smash the neck against a hard surface and then pour out the remaining stuff thought the jagged achromatic and hope e slivers give it added body. But hey! It's the thought that counts.

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Post #: 2

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 4:37:45 PM

fingers

Posts: 8254
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From: Santa Ana, CA
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You know, I only had to see "Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. pjaines" and I was laughing

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Post #: 3

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 4:52:27 PM

cookiefiend

Posts: 4414
Joined: 1/7/2008
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I laughed out loud over the tasting note.
Ahem

Feckin' awesome!

Sorry Paul - I at least got a plaque that says 'With the right pair of shoes I could rule the world'.
Right. That and a bazillion bucks.
I just tell myself she means well...

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'After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.'
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Post #: 4

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 4:59:52 PM

GoodToGrape

Posts: 1260
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From: Chicago
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Sorta related, but my 12 year old son gave me his wish list today. On the list were:

Good multi-vitamins (not children's)
Fish oil capsules
Measuring cups
Whey protein power (chocolate flavor)

Not entirely sure what to make of this - it's what he says he wants, but seems like pretty feckin' crappy Christmas presents to me.

(in reply to cookiefiend)

Post #: 5

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 5:02:20 PM

khmark7

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From: Chicago suburbs
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I miss the stories about Swindon.....the horror and all.

I switched my schedule at work so I could work on Christmas. I can only take so much of my family, and there are others at work who are happy to let me work Christmas so I can have New Year's off. I specifically requested only gift cards and vintage Champagne this year.....but I fear the unexpected

!!!

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 5:13:22 PM

kingkanu

Posts: 1200
Joined: 7/16/2009
From: London
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class, just what i needed tonight to have a laugh, what puzzles me is that you actually drunk that stuff after tasting it... although i have met pjaines before...i should know better

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Post #: 7

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 6:51:02 PM

smahk

Posts: 1482
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From: NY & FL
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It's Christmas,,,It's your Mom..... Come on....

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 8:55:54 PM

StlAndy

Posts: 51
Joined: 12/5/2011
From: St. Louis Area
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Echo Falls "For the unscripted moments" and "Go For It?" Where the marketing slogans for fine wine and condoms converge!

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Post #: 9

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 10:21:07 PM

Colonel Lawrence

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From: Arabia
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What a kind lady - resetting your benchmarks for the wines of the future.
I reckon friday should be pretty good ;)

L.

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Post #: 10

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 10:37:16 PM

TobyAnscombe

Posts: 1351
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From: Essex, UK
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Man, bring it down to the Colonels bash and share the love....

You wouldnt fancy a swift one thursday?

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Post #: 11

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 10:39:53 PM

Colonel Lawrence

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Few important domestics to do on Thursday, also got to hope Tesco's deliver the Christmas dinner!
See you early as I can make on Friday.
L.

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Post #: 12

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 11:04:27 PM

geppetto

Posts: 796
Joined: 11/7/2008
From: Vancouver, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoodToGrape

Sorta related, but my 12 year old son gave me his wish list today. On the list were:

Good multi-vitamins (not children's)
Fish oil capsules
Measuring cups
Whey protein power (chocolate flavor)

Not entirely sure what to make of this - it's what he says he wants, but seems like pretty feckin' crappy Christmas presents to me.

Funny thread, so I hesitate getting too serious, but...

Check with your son and make sure he is not being bullied at school. It sounds like he wants to bulk up. Probably just wants to make the football team, but it is always worth checking out.

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Post #: 13

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 11:07:02 PM

champagneinhand

Posts: 10282
Joined: 5/30/2011
From: Upstate New York, California born.
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Santa is a con man and his ponzi scheme that keeps many businesses from going under seems to work. I don't want to say "bah humbug", but if merchants offered better pricing throughout the year, people wouldn't stockpile the resources until the last months of the year. Its understandable that wine sales boom in the cooler months as their products are temperature susceptible, but all the craziness that occurs in December drives me crazy. Drivers, customers and retail employees get burned out really fast. I'm sure there is a better way for things to work, but in this world of immediate gratification, I hardly have a solution.

Be thankful for what you have and receive, because sometimes its the thoughts that count. Remember people that don't love great wine, just look at labels and prices. Too bad its not that simple, but that's why we are the wine geeks.

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Post #: 14

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/19/2011 11:49:55 PM

pjaines

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smahk

It's Christmas,,,It's your Mom..... Come on....

Yeah - at least this year she made an effort. Previously she got me this....

https://www.cellartracker.com/wine.asp?iWine=480311

Mind you, at least that one had a varietal on the label, rather than just "Red wine"

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:21:49 AM

Hollowine

Posts: 7251
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From: Hood River, OR
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If your mum loved you she would have gotten you this

http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A

Even Echo Falls tastes better in this shirt. Just read the ratings/comments and see for yourself

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Post #: 16

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:36:52 AM

Colonel Lawrence

Posts: 7118
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Arabia
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Common problem, Paul's brother Tim got a hat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws20_Aba8A0

L.

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Post #: 17

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:52:51 AM

pjaines

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From: London
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollowine

If your mum loved you she would have gotten you this

http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A

Even Echo Falls tastes better in this shirt. Just read the ratings/comments and see for yourself

DO NOT MOCK 3 WOLF MOON!!!!

If I got that for Christmas I would be the happiest man on earth

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Post #: 18

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 4:03:52 AM

musedir

Posts: 23496
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But would it cover our girth? After holding your nose and gulping down Echo Falls Resirva you might find yourself slightly bloated in the abdomen and in cases like that you need a large enough size or at least a old looking hat. Ah, parents.

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Post #: 19

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 4:22:36 AM

Colonel Lawrence

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quote:

ORIGINAL: musedir

But would it cover our girth? After holding your nose and gulping down Echo Falls Resirva you might find yourself slightly bloated in the abdomen and in cases like that you need a large enough size or at least a old looking hat. Ah, parents.

What you be without them?
Nothing, or immaculate, I guess.
L.

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Post #: 20

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 5:29:44 AM

Posts: 14828
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From: Wandering between Coastal SC and South FL
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Trump card
I teach school...
Coffee mugs etc...

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Post #: 21

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 5:52:37 AM

Colonel Lawrence

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Doh!
Did I just get clipped by Joe and his Taxi?
L.

< Message edited by Colonel Lawrence -- 12/20/2011 10:04:15 AM >

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Post #: 22

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 7:48:18 AM

pjaines

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From: London
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3 Wolf Moon + David Hasselhoff Night Rocker Album + Echo Falls = Heaven

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWnC79QoDKs

I am a night rocker
I want to rock you all night long
I am a night rocker
I am going to lure you with my song
It's a sweet lullaby
And I know you want to fly
I AM A NIGHT ROCKER!!!

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My new DJ stuff....

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Post #: 23

RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 9:23:10 AM

PSirah Tampa

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From: Tampa, FL
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I'm tempted to go look for some s**t Florida wine and send it too you just so I can read more of those helarious tasting notes!

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I just gotta drink'um faster!

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:34:24 PM

pjaines

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From: London
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Okay....the grand opening. I am cooking some game and need a "Red Wine" to cook the meat in. I am going to don a gas mask, open the bottle and taste some of this beastly sputum....more soon...

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:36:00 PM

pjaines

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From: London
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Step 1. The top opened with a nice "click"

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:37:00 PM

pjaines

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Step 2. The pour. It poured into the glass okay, but then some jumped out of the glass. A bad sign? Maybe it is trying to escape from itself?

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My new DJ stuff....

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:38:06 PM

pjaines

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From: London
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Step 3. Nostril. Eeeeew. Okay, quite, erm, green. Kind of chemically and erm, brutal on the nose.

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:43:22 PM

pjaines

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From: London
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Okay, Step 4. In the gob. Actually not as bad as my previous bottle which was horrendous. This more veering towards grim rather than horrendous. A bit watery and sweet but there is a glimmer of red fruit ...maybe cranberry juice. Aftertaste? Mouth puckering and lingering, but not in a good way...more like an eggy fart in an elevator. Second taste - bitter and woody. I am actually feeling a bit of a headache already. My tongue.....ah, man, ...my tongue....jeez...crap....I can't get rid of the taste.....room..going......dark....can't ...hol...d....o...n

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RE: Merry Feckin' Christmas. Santa Sucks. - 12/20/2011 12:54:12 PM

dontime

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Which step is pissing?

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non regna il silenzio"

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Post #: 30