wadcorp
Posts: 9336
Joined: 10/29/2008
From: Kansas City, MO
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Eric
I'll have to think some doozies up in the cab ride over. Just about to head out now.
Eric, I'll give you a cheat-sheet.
In the late 1980s, I worked at an ad agency with a guy who spoke in malapropisms all the time. One of our copywriters began compiling a list of 'em. Some are screamingly funny:
FAMOUS CLEMENTISMS, UNABRIDGED EDITION
Let’s have an eyeball-to-belly button talk about this.
We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.
I think we ought to do one of those “scratch and tell” things.
I’d like a biological profile of that guy.
We have nothing available that fits the position for which is qualified. (From a letter written to a headhunter)
We’ve got to do this co-jointly.
Yeah, we’ve screwed his pants off a few times.
That’s a real bone of difficulty.
Gentlemen, it’s time we stopped talking about principle and just do what’s right.
Let’s run it up the flag pole and see if it sticks.
Remember, your future is ahead of you.
You have to put your front foot forward.
Let’s take the ball and roll with it.
He really bit the farm on that one.
I wish he’d just sh_t or get off the fence!
(Describing a fine wine) ...good boutique.
The only way I could get comfortable was to crawl in my Easy-Boy chair and get into a fecal position.
Yeah, let’s weed that into the copy.
At the end of the year, you kinda like to juxta your position.
They’re growing by leaps and bonds.
It got too hot for him, so he dropped it like a ten foot pole.
There’s a dirge of good ideas.
Too many coupons—not enough value—they’re gorging the public.
It’s intramural to me.
He’s busier than an one-eyed coat hanger.
That’s a nebulous of an idea.
Our radio commercials must establish repertoire with the audience.
Let’s dissimulate the news.
That’s out of our billiwack.
We’ll announce it in ROTC color.
My wife – she’s the shy and retrieving type.
We were sure it’d be a success, but it turned into a real fiesta.
The high polloi and the low polloi.
We need a media so broad it will circumsize the world.
A car like that costs real shackles.
There wasn’t a shimmering of hope.
That man serves ratgut liquor.
He was chafing at the dish.
We don’t want to start a raucus.
Let’s take it home and maul it over.
We can hobnail with the great.
I wouldn’t touch him with a hot potato.
He’s an ignorant ramus.
If we pitch it right, we can sell the whole sheboygan.
Here we go again, putting our fat asses before the cart.
I started drinking at five, and at eight I was still sober as a jug.
What we want is a kind of Disney-Lou production.
He cried like a stuffed pig.
We’ve got to get on our bicycles and run like hell.
This will leave ‘em rearing in the aisles.
We’ve laid a fowl ball.
These two research organization’s results just don’t jab.
That’s burning down the barn after the car is gone.
Crap, snapple and pop.
He’s a client who wants to consume a marriage.
What with this new account, the whole agency is a humdrum of activity.
A rolling stone is better than two in the bush.
He’s our interloper between agency and the client.
We’re sunk higher than a kite.
There’s a dirge of music on the radio lately.
The monkey’s in their court.
Let’s hope the investigation proves fruitworthy.
Like a kettle of worms.
I’ve always driven very pedestrian cars.
You can only drag a dead horse to water so many times.
He had a congenial heart condition.
She was granted an interderogatory decree.
Residents of that retirement building are dying like hotcakes.
He was caught in a real divulge of rain.
He smokes like a fish.
I wouldn’t do that for all the love in China.
You’ve got to separate the wheat from the shaft.
Can I pick your head for a minute?
In this business, you’ve got to keep your eye on the eightball.
He’s got too many irons in the pan.
He pulled the wool out from under my feet.
I’m frozen to a crisp.
Her husband left her to fence for herself.
He disappeared out of a clear blue sky.
That song really caught my eye.
He hit the nail right on the jackpot.
If you’ve got a minute, I’d like to speak to you for a second.
You could have knocked me over with a fender.
I was up at the crank of dawn.
If they ever take emotion out of football, the stadiums will be full of no-shows.
It will be a little bit partly cloudy today.
It was definitely identified as an UFO.
I didn’t think they were as bad as I thought they were.
A fly in the oatmeal.
There’s a flaw in the ointment.
I’m just marching time in this job.
Argentina has an infant morality problem.
He’s the kind of guy who crosses his i’s and dots his t’s.
This is their annual report, which they do every year.
You’ve buttered your bread, now you have to lay in it.
He did that manually by hand.
I always say the first thing that comes out of my mouth.
I can’t help it my mind works faster than my brain.
He doesn’t have both paddles in both oars.
The last straw has hit the fan.
.
_____________________________
"Wine is light held together by moisture."
— Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer (1564-1642)
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